Is honesty above all?
We have recieved a dilemma about honesty in friendships from Lisa, 45 years old.
Dear Friendship Panel,
I’m facing a dilemma where I really need your advice. I’ve always believed that honesty is the foundation of a friendship, but now I’m uncertain. Recently, Jeanette, one of my friends of many years, asked for my opinion on her new boyfriend, Thomas. I’ve met Thomas a few times, and to be honest, I don’t think he’s the nest match for Jeanette. It’s rare that I don’t like someone, but there’s something about him that just doesn’t sit right with me, and I see some red flags.
I know jeanette is deeply in love with Thomas, and I don’t want to hurt her or come between their relationship. So, far, I’ve just gone along with what Jeanette says and reassured her that Thomas is a great guy. I feel like I owe her my honest opinion as a friend, but I’m unsure whether I should keep it to myself to avoid hurting her and risking our friendship.
What should I do? Should honesty come before everything else in a friendship, even if it might hurt your friend, or are there times when it’s better to keep you opinion to yourself?
Best regards,
A dishonest Friend
BONUS INFO
Lisa doesn’t always think Thomas treats Jeanette with much respect when they’re together. He’s the type who dominates a room, seems quite controlling, and isn’t always interested in what Jeanette has to say. After many years of being single, Jeanette has really spent a lot of time and energy finding love. Lisa is therefore reluctant to unnecessarily spoil the relationship and wonders if she should give him the benefit of the doubt.