Dear Dilemma Panel,

I’m reaching out to you with a dilemma that’s weighing on me. My name is Jonas, and I’m facing a difficult decision that involves my friendships and finances.

We are a group of seven friends who have just returned from a wonderful vacation house trip, but now we’re waiting for the final settlement/costs on Mobilepay… SIGH

During the trip, we made large purchases for communal meals and alcohol that everyone could use, and some also brought items from home to keep the costs down. Along the way, Johan had to leave two days before the rest of us. He therefore feels that he shouldn’t have to pay as much as those of us who stayed the whole time. We had already shopped for the entire trip when he informed us that he had to leave early. This led to a major discussion about how we should split the costs, and the group is very divided on what’s fair.

On one side, we have those who “freely” brought items from home. We also have some bigger guys in the group who definitely ate and drank more on average than the rest of us. Then there’s Mette, who is vegan. We took her preferences into account by buying vegan alternatives, which in most cases were quite expensive. However, she didn’t eat any of the meat, milk, or butter that the rest of us consumed. And yes, then there’s Johan, who left two days early.

So, dear Friendship Panel, how do we split the costs fairly? Is there a threshold for how much/little one can charge when it comes to shared expenses? And what can I do to untangle this financial knot? I’m naturally conflict-averse and just want to keep the positive atmosphere, but it really feels like we’ve entered into a game of nitpicking.

Best regards,

Jonas – the conflict-averse but financially pressured